What Motherhood means to me.

A lot has happened since the last time I wrote on my blog. I found out I was pregnant. I am not sure who I was more shocked. Jeff or myself. I remember running out of the  bathroom holding the stick with the two pink lines. Yelling and crying at Jeff. "You're going to be a Daddy!" I think you could of probably seen the color drain from his face. We had a failed IVF a few years earlier. The doctor told us, my eggs were not very good. So the chances of us getting pregnant were not great. Our son was breech for about 80% of my pregnancy. In many ways I think he was supposed to be. I have never been able to handle pain well. My water broke the day before my C-Section was planned. So I had an emergency C-Section. I still remember crying, freaking out at Jeff when my water broke all over the floor of our tiny apartment. Jeff got me to the hospital in about 3 minutes and 20 seconds. The amount of time it takes for the light to change. One advantage of living down the hill from the hospital! I still remember both of us crying when we heard our sons first cry.
Fast forward and now I am the very proud and happy mother of a three month old baby boy! To say that I am over the moon about him is an understatement. I probably drive all my friends on Facebook nuts with all my videos and pictures. I probably take about 30 pictures and 2 videos a day. I don't post all 30 pictures, maybe I post 10 lol. I love looking into my son's eyes and watching them light up when he sees me. I love making up songs and watching him coo or say aww. I love reading to him and singing.  Jeff and I are still together. He is an amazing father. My dad was not sure if Jeff was going to be a great father. Jeff is amazing. Our baby boy is the best thing that has ever happened to me in my whole life. He is so expressive! You would never think of a three month old to be an old soul but I really think he is. I never thought I would be ok with poop and spit up but I am ok with that. I am lucky I have not had to deal with vomit yet. If that happens, I will probably throw a towel over it and wait for Jeff to get home.
Jeff and I are still not married. I am not sure if we ever will get married. All I know is that he loves me, loves our miracle baby boy and is happy with the way things are now. I love my life and would not change it for anything in the world. As I have always been told, you make plans god laughs. I did not plan to get pregnant with my son. All I know is that at 40 years old. I am taking every single minute and cherishing it. I know how lucky and blessed I am. Not everyone gets to be a parent. So if you don't mind me sharing stories in the future about Jeff, myself and our miracle baby boy. I hope you will start reading my blog again if you did in the past. Or if you are new to my blog, welcome and Thank you.