I am always scared to get to excited about something.....

I don't know if I am the only one who feels this way. I am always scared to get to excited about anything. What I am talking about, is if I am looking forward to an activity or an event. Or even something simple like what will happen on a tv show I like. I try to tell myself be serious and NOT to get excited, but how can I not get excited about something like going on a vacation, or even going to Las Vegas? I usually get told by people in my life yes, Robyn we will be going to ( fill in the blank here.) Then later I will get told. "No, I never said we were going to do that." Or I get told, "Oh I never booked that trip." Then people wonder why I don't trust anyone. I mean seriously I don't trust anyone. If I like a tv show, I know it will get cancelled. It has been an on going joke in my family my whole life. I am called the kiss of death when it comes to a television show. If I worked for a network, They would save money on shows that would not work. I would know just by watching the first two episodes if it would work on not. Or if I really liked it, I would say, I like that one. It will not catch on with mainstream audiences. I will try to look forward to things in the future but it is hard, not to walk around feeling like I have a dark cloud over my head. I swear I feel like Alan Harper from "Two and a half Men" sometimes. I want to live and enjoy life to the fullest. My goal is to try to start not worrying so much and pretty much say fuck it. Do things, I have been to scared to do! I am not saying I want to go sky diving or anything. I just mean staying up later and dancing in the rain! Something I have always wanted to do!!! As my favorite childhood hero said. "Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it yet"- Anne of Green Gables